The answer is, “nowhere” or “why not?”.
When I said earlier I will become an independent writer, I meant literally. Freelancer, or you might called it. I haven’t signed any contract to any company nor sent application letters. I have some plans, one of them is writing an illustrated children story book with my fella artist since like couple years ago and I haven’t done a single thing to make it real. So I think it’s the right time for me to end my job as a journalist by the end of the year, and start accomplishing my dream. A simple new year’s resolution.
When I told my friends about my resignation plan, one of them gave me a “get real” look and asked me to think twice. Or more than twice if I could. She’s worried about me; especially about the financial thing. She couldn’t believe how or why I act so calm without any certainty on my hands. If she was in my case, getting resign without a new better job is an impossible thing to do.
People are afraid of uncertainty. It horrifies them.
I couldn’t agree more. Certainty is a light in the dark. An elastic rope that keeps you from falling. What I don’t agree about it is, we make uncertainly like a big monster. No wonder we tend to change the line into “uncertainty is like a big dark room where the big evil monster lives”. I believe there will be a new good thing that we can find there. Instead of a monster, why not think of some glow-in the dark cool things or a secret message that can lead you “treasure box”? Or maybe, as simple as a quality time for you to sleep? Well I’m just trying to give some examples.
Like today. I got myself an evening ride. A short one around Kelapa Gading. It was a sudden plan actually. I had no particular direction, all I wanted to do just ride my bike. I turned right/left whenever I feel like I wanted to turn, I kept taking straight every time I feel that way. Bottom line, it was a total free ride. I was worried I’d wet myself in the middle of the ride, because the breeze chilled me. I thought it was gonna rain. Plus, both my tires are a bit flat. But thank God, it went alright.
As I rode around, there were so many things I haven’t seen/known before. Like a shortcut to a finger-lickin’ good fried tofu hawker, or a place to buy stationary with good price. I also found an interesting thing. There was a house who sell traditional cake from West Java, serabi. The owner creatively created a rhyming brand for it, “Serabi Chubby”. There are plenty of it, a home-store/restaurant. Kelapa Gading really has a charm for food business.
See, uncertainty sometimes brings you to new cool things. It may not as “big” as bumped into, let say, Leonardo DiCaprio who all of the sudden, craving for Kelapa Gading’s infamous seafood. But it was alright. I met many people that I passed by. Those who I’ve met and I haven’t met before. Not to mention the fresh air, a rare thing you have in Jakarta.
It went smooth, until some men, the workers, gave me their flirtatious whistle. A classic pervert style. But it didn’t bugging me. I took it as a minor distraction which I might get on my freelance time later. It’s a good reminder for me so I’ll always stay focused on what I do.
Since i had no direction, i turned my bike to the right/left everytime I wanted to. Until one point, I was on a street, which I recognized. It was a street where my veterinarian (pet doctor) lives. I used to take my bunny there to get a scabies injection. I was so confident I took the straight way when I passed his street. But then I ended up in the wrong street. It took me further from my house. I should’ve turned right. So I took a u-turn later on.
Somehow, I feel it was another “sign” for me. Sometimes we were so confident about what we’ve been doing all the time because it looks like the right thing to do. The right way to choose. No wonder if most of the time, we’ve keep taking the “straight” street. There is no such thing as never-ending straight street. We forget the fact if sometimes, or in the end, we need to take a turn. Get out from our so-called comfort zone and take the wild card! All we need to do is giving ourselves a full attention to every “sign” out there. Let alone our own intuition.
The wind blew stronger than before, and the sky was getting darker and darker. It’s already 5PM though. Without a second thought, I rode my bike home because I didn’t want to wet myself.
Today’s evening ride was fun. It gave me time to contemplating. I’d lie if I said I don’t feel anxious at all thinking what would happen in my near-future, but until now, thank God, the excitement I got still can beat the shit out of it. I think I’m going to make this evening-ride as my new routine. The researcher said we need new hobby to increase our life’s quality, including our health. Especially the one who allows us to meet other people. It makes us happy. And I believe them.
My fella editor once said to my fella journalist who’ve been dreaming about living abroad. When my fella journalist said it’s not a common short-term vacation, so he must prepared anything yet before, the fella editor shocked him with an easy reply, so easy I even awe myself: “Where’s the fun part if you’ve already planned about everything?”.
He was right. It’s like what you’ve seen on “Into the Wild” the movie, but exclude the extreme part (or include if you think you’re on that level to dare yourself). That’s what I called a “wild card”, a “turn”. Being spontaneous is not a crime. As long as we’re happy, and not breaking any law. Maybe you, us, should’ve tried it sometimes. Open ourselves up to accept every uncertainty in life and let the universe lead us.
In the meantime, all I wanted to say is happy new-you and let’s get lost! 🙂
Images: Marc Johns